3/24/2024 0 Comments Flip tattoos im fine save meWhen my daughter used the term “nose ring”, I knew she was talking about a discrete stud. Turns out my wife was much more concerned. I pondered an appropriate response and figured that it was a little absurd to tell a 20-year old adult, “NO…your mother and I forbid it.” She had been debating whether to get a sari made while in India, so I wrote a one-sentence reply to her e-mail. We got an e-mail from India saying that she and two friends were “thinking about” getting their noses pierced (and ears, in my daughter’s case since she had never pierced them for earrings). I think my daughter had the common courtesy to sort of tell us. There is such a thing as common courtesy that people who live in the same house owe each other that has nothing to do with law. I’m not into this “well he/she is 18, so they don’t need permission”. A hole in some skin that can easily grow back (I have no scar, and even if she does, you’d barely be able to tell it apart from a pore or a freckle) is not worth damage to a relationship. If you really want her to take it out, offer something in return. There’s plenty of small, skin colored that lay flat that she could buy and wear when appropriate. If you’re upset, calmly go to your D and ask her why she did this and if she plans to take it out after college. Biggest waste of $30 (that they never offered to give to me in refund), dumbest move by my dad ever, and biggest disruption in my college life so far. And I still think differently of him for it. I still remember that whole fight to this day. Then, the next morning, he had the nerve to say “sorry, I over reacted, I sent your brother out to find it but he couldn’t”. He was about to truely ruin my life over a stupid nose stud that I ended up taking out and throwing in in the front yard bushes so there was no “oh put it back in”. It was when he threatened to bring me back to my local college (GMU, so atleast its a 4yr) that’s when I blew up. They let me get my belly button pierced for my 18th, and it was no biggie, plus a hole in each earlobe and one on my upper ear (the normal cartilage one, nothing drastic). I was pretty ****ed because although he is still my parent, it’s not like I was “ruining my life”. I’m an engineering major and he said “people wouldn’t take me seriously and I’d never be hired and I’ve completely ruined m life”. I came home for Fall Break with a nose stud and my dad fliipppeeddd out too. It’s true it’s not aids, but it doesn’t make the arm hurt less. As far as hearing comparisons (“it’s not aids, so don’t sweat it”), to me that’s like saying “sure you broke your arm, but at least it’s not aids”. But the fact that it’s permanent means there’s not much anyone can do now. If that was asking to much, we told them, then could they please tell us up front. We told them they legally could do whatever they wanted once they hit 18, but that as a favor to us we asked that they not a) get arrested ever, b) get pregnant before marriage, or c) get piercings/tattoos until after they graduated. We told our kids that we were a family, that we were helping them get a college degree, and that we loved them. It’s permanent, and it changes the one thing we all see when we look at each other. But I personally empathize with you, SportsMama. I agree with interesteddad in terms of where a nose stud fits vis-a-vis life-threatening situations. (My daughter insists he was kidding because he knew I was taking this "way too seriously.") I thought this thing would close up if she changed her mind, but the ENT we went to today for her tonsils told us the hole is permanent. So, all of you calmer, more understanding parents out there, help me please. I shared all of this with her-along with some other comments that I don't really want to share on here. I know as an 18 year old she doesn't have to ask permission, but I would have appreciated being prepared. I think I was as hurt as I was shocked-that she didn't even bother to mention it beforehand. She had mentioned wanting to get a small shamrock tattoo on her ankle when she turned 18, but her birthday was a couple of months ago and she never did anything about it. Well, my 18 year old daughter came home Saturday evening with a small diamond in the side of her nose and I FLIPPED OUT! I had never heard her talk about wanting to do this.
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